Liberating Kenya by blood, sweat and tears — My story

They say that when a talk about bones starts, old men and women feel targeted.I have been having nightmares since the trouble in Kenya started. My sleep pattern has become erratic and when I manage to fall asleep, even briefly, I wake up in panic with my heart racing. On the streets recently, I panicked and bolted when heard a loud bang, startling other pedestrians. I am reminded of a time when following my arrest at gunpoint and subsequent torture and detention by the Kenya government, I suffered serious panic attacks and anxiety.I thought I was going crazy and considered checking myself into a mental institution.I was tormented by thoughts of suicide, reasoning it was better to die than live in fear.

These thoughts have come back to haunt me in recent weeks, when I see young men and women lying dead in the streets and hear gunfire ringing loud, the military and police armed to the teeth rounding up and brutalising innocent Kenyans. Shooting unarmed civilians. Scenes last seen in 1982.

It feels like déjà vu.